The Gift-Giver Page 8

  15. Understanding

  So they let me take care of Baby and the house. After two days I got tired of staying in. After Baby had his breakfast we'd go out on the stoop.

  It was early so no one be out yet except Amir. He sat with me until it was time to go in and fix Baby's lunch. I cleaned the house with Mama while Baby took his nap; when he woke we'd go back out. Everyone be out then. The boys played stickball. Mickey and them jumped rope, played cards and made believe I wasn't there. I watched Baby.

  Then that big-mouth Lavinia says, "Let's go to the playground, y'all. We don't have to stay on this boring block like some people."

  I stood up. "If you talking about me I'll have you know I can leave this block anytime I want."

  Mickey said, "Your mama told you to stay on the stoop and that's where you gonna be." They all laughed.

  "How you know what my mama told me? You live in my house?" They walked away. I could go to the playground now, nobody'd know. I took Baby by the hand and started to leave the stoop. Then I sat back down. Like Amir say, why should I worry about what people say? And anyway my parents really need me to watch Baby and take care of the house like I promised. And I didn't like going in that playground anymore no how.

  I was glad when Amir came over. He sat on the stoop and showed me some drawings he made. I watched him draw a picture of Baby.

  Suddenly we heard one big yelling and screaming. Here comes Mickey, Dotty, Lavinia and the Nit Nowns. They running like King Kong is chasing them. Mickey is screaming, "Ma, they gonna git me!"

  Dotty tripped over the curb and landed flat on her backside. Lavinia ran right out of one of her sneakers. She left it laying there in the street. The Nit Nowns climbed over a fence and jumped in a backyard.

  I laughed till my stomach hurt. Amir laughed so hard he cried. Big Russell looked like he was rolling down the street. Yellow Bird was behind him screeching. Then the rest of the boys came yelling and running. Some of them ran up on the stoop and into the hallway.

  "Y'all better get inside," they said to me and Amir. We was laughing too hard to move. One of the boys said, "They having a gang war. A whole bunch of Skulls came to the playground looking for the Warriors." Me and Amir went in the hall. "They looking for the Warriors, so why you running?" I asked.

  "When you see them gangs you best run."

  Me and Amir looked at each other and laughed some more. "Them gangs ain't thinking about y'all," I said.

  We stayed in the hallway a long time, but no Skulls or anyone else came through the block. After a while everyone came back out. Seems like there really was a gang fight in the playground and Russell and all them got scared. I laughed every time I thought about them fools running and nobody chasing them.

  Even though me and Ma was getting along fine I still didn't tell her about the gang fight. She been predicting that for years. I knew she'd say I told you so. But after that even Mickey and all the other girls stayed out the playground.

  Daddy didn't get his old job back right away like he thought. So the next week I took care of Baby again. Mama only called once a day. It was funny. Now soon as she came home I went upstairs so we could talk about how both our days was. I'd watch Baby for her while she finished supper. She kept telling me I didn't have to, but I didn't mind. Sometimes I'd go out after supper. One evening before I went back out she said, "Doris, you saved the day."

  When I went outside, Mickey and them looked like they wanted to be friends again, but I didn't need no friends—except Amir. Mickey and them was too kiddish for me now. I was doing more important things. I sat there cool and quiet like Amir, while they played kick-the-can and hide-go-seek.

  "Amir, you know me and my mama ain't had a argument all week?"

  "That's good."

  "Why you think that is? Seems like everything I do is right. She ain't evil no more."

  "Maybe y'all just looking at each other a little more carefully."

  "What? You always talking about looking at things."

  "I mean, maybe you understand things about each other better."

  "You mean like she's not really evil and mad at me, she just be tired?"

  "Yeah. And she knows she can trust you, now."

  "Maybe you right, Amir."

  The following week Daddy got his job back. He was like his old self again. Mama stopped working.

  He said to me and my mother, "We is all we got. Being a family saved us. You remember that, Doris, when you grow up and have your own family. Ain't none of us would've made it if we didn't help each other."

  It was funny. I kind of missed taking care of Baby. Mama was surprised when I still helped clean and I came in early so I could mind Gerald for her while she cooked. But one night she said, "What's wrong, Doris? Why don't you play with your friends like you used to?"

  "They don't like me and I don't like them."

  "You'll make up."

  "No. We won't. And I don't want to go to the church picnic."

  "Don't be silly. Everybody goes. You'll make up with your friends again. Kids always having arguments over nothing."

  "Do I have to go to the picnic?"

  "Yes."

  "But I don't feel like going through no changes with Mickey and them."

  "Girl, life ain't nothing but some changes. And speaking about changes, Doris, Gerald needs another diaper."

  We both looked at the baby and laughed. He grinned too, like he understood the joke.

  It felt so good to laugh and be happy with Mama again.

  16. The Picnic

  I sat way up in the front of the bus with the grown-ups. Amir went in the back with Russell and them. I couldn't think of a way to get out of going to the picnic. "Why don't you go in the back with your friends?" my mother asked.

  "I don't feel like it."

  "We gonna have to have a talk when we get home."

  People dashed out the bus when we got to the picnic area. Blankets was spread on the ground; big picnic baskets filled with fried chicken, potato salad, salami sandwiches, big jugs of red Kool-Aid. It looked like a volleyball net and a basketball hoop was up by magic. The women spread the goodies on the tables. I dipped my hands in the basket of chicken right away.

  I made believe I didn't see Mickey and Dotty playing and carrying on. I walked over by the lake looking for tadpoles like we used to. Usually we took a hike up in the woods. I sat by the lake and heard Lavinia say, "If we see a bear I'm gonna run like crazy." Amir came over to me. "Come on. We're going for a hike."

  No.

  "Come on. Nobody's mad at you. Come on."

  I heard Mickey yell, "If I see a bear I'm going to sic T.T. on him."

  "What's the point of being with people and you ain't talking to them?" I said.

  "Come on."

  "Okay. But you're the only person I'm talking to." We followed the rest of them up into the woods. Mickey and them made believe I wasn't there, so I acted the same way. Those crazy kids acted like nuts. They hooted like owls and played tag. They walked into trees and stubbed their toes on stones.

  Bird hid behind a rock and then jumped in front of Russell and Russell fell into a hole. We laughed. Even me who really wasn't there. T.T. went and climbed up a tree and when Dotty passed under it he threw a stick in front of her. She screamed and ran like she saw a zombie.

  Mickey thought she saw a bat. "Don't you know bats only come out at night?" Russell said. They played around for about two hours. Someone said, "We better get back else all the food be gone and we miss the potato sack race."

  We turned around and started walking back. Amir said, "You going the wrong way."

  "How you know?" Russell said. "I know the way back. I been coming up here for years." So everybody but me and Amir followed Russell.

  Amir said to me, "They're walking deeper into the woods."

  I didn't know which way to go back. We been in so many different directions. This was Amir's first time up here. Russell been up here many times, like he said.

  "Amir, yo
u sure you know the way back? Seems like we been walking a long time."

  "I remember passing that big tree over there."

  "What big tree?" I said. "All these trees look the same to me."

  "That one is all twisted more than the others. Look how the bark has that big knot on it."

  "I never noticed that."

  "I drew a picture of it while we was sitting down before, resting." He pulled out a piece of paper.

  "Did you draw pictures of the whole way we came?"

  He laughed. "No, but I remember."

  After we walked for a while I got scared again. "Amir, you sure we ain't lost?" Then I recognized the spot where Big Russell fell. Amir stopped walking.

  "What you stop for?" I asked. He didn't answer me. He turned around and started walking back where we came from.

  "Amir, where you going?"

  "Come on, Doris, we got to find them."

  "They don't deserve to be found. They should've followed you in the first place." After walking for a while we still didn't see or hear them. I knew the grown-ups was worried and mad now. Even though I hated Mickey and them, I was beginning to worry too.

  "Amir, they ain't even here now."

  "We'll find them."

  "Bet the potato sack race started. Food's gonna all be gone too."

  "We'll be back before the food's gone." A twig scratched my leg and a mosquito bit me. I was miserable. "Amir, it's too quiet."

  "Wait," he said. Then he stopped like he was listening to something.

  "What's wrong?" I asked. Then I heard a low, strange moan.

  "What's that?" we both said.

  We followed the sound. We walked over by a cleared spot and Mickey and Dotty is sitting there bawling like two infants. I wanted to laugh. They hugged each other and cried like babies. When they saw me and Amir it was like they saw gold. "We so lost. And me and Dotty couldn't walk no more and it seem the more we walk the more we get lost and I shoulda come with you and Amir."

  "Where the rest of them?" Amir asked.

  "They went up there," she said, pointing toward a hill.

  "Did they just leave?"

  "Yes."

  "I'll call them," I said. "I have a loud voice." I walked over to the hill. "RUSSELL, YELLOW BIRD, LA-VIN-I-A, BIG HOCKS." Seems like everything got real quiet. "BIG HOCKS," I yelled again.

  "That'll bring Russell out them woods," Mickey said, wiping her eyes.

  Then we heard a crashing through the trees. It was Yellow Bird all wild-eyed. "What happened? We been found?"

  Then Russell comes through the woods looking like Smokey the Bear. The rest of them followed.

  Mickey said, "Amir found the way back."

  Amir didn't say nothing. He just turned around and started walking. They all followed him. I didn't hear boo from nobody. Who's stupid now, I thought.

  I was so happy to see the Nit Nowns. They were the first people we saw when we came out the woods. As we climbed down the hill, I was almost ready to go back in the woods. It looked like the adults was going to attack us. Of course, my ma was the ringleader. After I explained and Mickey cried some more, they stopped fussing.

  We missed the sack race, but there was food left. We played a volleyball game—boys against girls. The girls won. Them old boys said we cheated. It turned out to be the best picnic we ever had. And I guess everybody was glad we was all friends again. I never heard anyone say anything about Amir being dumb again.

  A couple of days after the picnic, I went outside. I could've looked for Mickey and Dotty, 'cause we was friends again, but I felt like going to the library and talking to Amir like I was doing before. I was there for a long time that day. I felt a tap on my shoulders.

  "Young lady, it's closing time. You can take the books out if you wish."

  I looked at the librarian. "Well, no, ah, I don't know. Okay. I'll take them out." So what if Mickey and them see me with books? If I want to read that's my business.

  Everybody was there when I got back to the block. I sat on the stoop and put the books next to me. Lavinia said, "You can't wait till school starts?" But Dotty picked up one of the books and started reading.

  Then it started. Whenever everyone is out and there's nothing to do someone decides to put on a show. Usually the hoys sounded on each other, but this time it was between Lavinia and T.T.

  Lavinia likes to show off. She said, "T.T., you was so ugly when you was born, the doctors slapped your mother."

  "Lavinia, you so skinny if you had one eye you'd look like a needle."

  "T.T., your mama uses your head for an ice cream scoop.

  It looked like Lavinia was winning. Everyone was laughing, but I knew after a while the whole thing was gonna turn into a real argument. I stood up. "Where you going?" Mickey asked. "This is just getting good."

  "I'm going upstairs. My mother's going to call me soon anyway."

  17. Autumn

  Me and Ma was coming back from shopping and ran into Dotty flying down 163rd Street on her skates. It was September and in three days we'd be back in school.

  "Where's Mickey?"

  "She's upstairs looking for her skates."

  "Wait up. I'll get mine." When I came back downstairs Mickey was there with three skates that didn't match. Then Lavinia came with some worn-out-looking skates without a key and tied with a rope. Then the Nit Nowns came with only one pair of skates between the four of them. Yellow Bird came over. "I got some skates I can loan you," he said to them. Yellow Bird came back with some skates that looked like the first pair ever made.

  "Boy, I feel like wrapping those skates around your fool head," Pauline said. "How I'm going to wear them old-timey, grandma-looking things?" The skates was the kind you see in the skating rink. The wooden wheels was chipped and the leather looked like a rat been gnawing on them.

  "These some good skates," Yellow Bird said.

  "You use them then," Pauline answered.

  "Okay." Yellow Bird put on those skates and rolled down the street. We followed him, laughing like crazy. Pauline and Paulette had a skate apiece. The other two sisters went home. Said they'd use the skates the next day. People in the street looked at Yellow Bird and laughed. He was a sight! We skated by the playground. Russell and the other boys sat on benches talking.

  When Russell saw Yellow Bird he said, "Man, take off them things and let's play some ball."

  "Does anyone want to borrow them?" Bird asked.

  "Nooooo," we yelled.

  The boys went over to the basketball court and Amir stayed on the bench. Russell yelled, "Come on, Amir, we want you to see this new move we got."

  A yellow leaf touched my arm as we started back up the street. I don't know why, but the leaf made me feel sad. I was happy to go back to school cause I was gonna do real good and surprise everyone. I was even gonna get some awards. But I was sorry the summer was over.

  Mickey and them was way up ahead. They was acting so wild and crazy they didn't even miss me. I took off my skates and sat on one of the benches outside the playground.

  I looked at the same dead, yellow leaf. Things is always changing, I thought. I imagined how that same leaf looked green and fresh the beginning of the summer.

  I got up and started walking.

  "Hey, Doris. Wait up!"

  "I thought you was watching them play ball, Amir."

  "No. I got to tell you something."

  His big eyes looked so miserable. "What's wrong?"

  "I'm leaving."

  "What? Where you going?"

  "My family, I mean, the people I live with, they moving to California, I think."

  "Oh no, that's awful. I mean, it's nice you moving to California, but how we gonna see you again?"

  "I'm not going with them."

  "Oh, that's good. You could go to California when you grow up."

  "But I still won't be here. I'm going upstate. They gonna put me in a group home with other kids."

  "With your family?"

  "No."

&
nbsp; "With another family?"

  "No. It's just a home with other kids. They have counselors. I don't want to live with another family. I just want to stay here on 163rd Street. The only family I want is my real brothers and sisters."

  I could hardly talk. A big, hard lump started growing in my throat. Amir was my best friend. I was losing my best friend. I felt like crying. I don't mean the kind of crying you see in the movies where the lady cries nice, and pretty tears roll down her pretty face. I felt like crying ugly. I felt like yelling and bawling like baby Gerald does when he's hungry or wet. I felt like rolling from one end of the block to the other. I felt like laying on my back and kicking my legs in the sun's face.

  Who was I gonna talk to now? Who could I trust like I trusted Amir? I couldn't remember, anymore, a time when he wasn't here. It was like Amir always lived on 163rd Street. Now he was leaving.

  "Doris, don't worry. We still be friends no matter what. You remember what I told you about making things be."

  I sniffled and tried to keep my voice sounding normal.

  "Amir, maybe you could live with us. My mother and father could be your foster parents. I'll be your foster sister and Baby could be your foster...."

  "No, Doris. I don't think your parents could do that."

  "Why? I'm going to ask my mother right now. We could make room for you."

  "They already made all my plans, Doris."

  "So? If my mother and father say they want you to live with us, then the plans will change—right, Amir?"

  He put his head down. "Doris, I'm leaving tomorrow. Nothing can change now."

  "How come you didn't tell me before?"

  "They just told me a few days ago. My foster family's going to drive me upstate tomorrow."

  I picked up a empty bottle and threw it. Glass was all over the sidewalk. An old lady looked at me and shook her head. I stuck my tongue out at her.

  "What you do that for?" Amir asked.

  "'Cause I wanted to."

  "Doris, we still gonna be friends."

  "How we gonna be friends when you all the way upstate?"

  "I'll write you. I promise. It's not so bad. My brothers and sisters live upstate too. The social worker told me I could see them."